Tuesday 19 November 2013

Dan Aku Harap, Aku Tak Perlu Kembali Lagi.

Even now.
Aafter all these months.
There’s still just this part of me where.
 If there’s even the slightest chance something I do could make her smile.
I don’t think about it.
I just do it.

"Kau ni dah kenapa? Boleh tak cari atau jatuh cinta dengan orang yang senonoh sikit? Yang boleh balas kasih saying kau? Yang boleh layan kau dengan ikhlas. Macam mana baik dia layan kau, atau macam mana baik kau layan dia, kisah ini tidak kemana. Percayalah cakap aku. Unless dia berani mencuba, which aku rasa orang macam dia tak berani mencuba. So apa kata kau simpan hati kau sebelum ia remuk."

Well.
Dah hampir tujuh bulan hati aku remuk.
Ya, beberapa hari lagi genap tujuh bulan.
Sampaikan salam aku pada yang lain.
Sampai nanti.
Jumpa lagi bila aku pulang nanti.
Jaga diri.


*Dan aku benar-benar berharap, aku tidak akan perlu pulang lagi ke sini. Orang disini tak reti menghargai. Hanya segelintir yang memahami. Ya, itu sudah memadai. Tapi, hati sering dicalar balarkan dan di remuk kan oleh kekasih sendiri. Aku benci hidup selalu dikecewakan wanita berganti-ganti, macam ni.

Thursday 11 July 2013

I miss you.

There is nothing in life more painful than losing a loved one,
the love is there forever though,
we never really lose them only from the physical plane,
because where love exists there can be no loss.

When you lose someone you love,
you gain an angel that you know

Not a second passes,
when you’re not on our minds,
your love we will never forget,
the hurt will ease in time.

Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.

I miss you, i miss your smile,
and i still shed a tear every once in a while.
Even though it’s different now,
you’re still here somehow,
my heart won’t let you go, and i need you to know.
I miss you.

Saturday 6 July 2013

by -- Bob Marley.

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you.

When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful.

There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever.

Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all.

A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do.

Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible.

You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

Thursday 20 June 2013

The 20 Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make In Your 20s

Your 20s are undoubtedly the most pivotal time in your life. While there are plenty of temptations and distractions, the decisions you make here are truly what dictate your future, as the weak fall and only the strong survive.

Do you have what it takes to become a monumental success? Or will you live out a life of mediocrity? The choice is up to you. While many think they have all the answers and the keys to success, we have seen too many times before those people make the same pitfalls.

This is the time for you to hustle, scrap and fight for the life that you want for yourself. You manifest your own destiny during these crucial years.

Every move you make is a test. Don’t fuck it up. These are the 20 Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make In Your 20s.





20. Working for money, not for building your dreams

Never do anything just because it’s convenient for you. Look to challenge yourself and build your own dream instead of building someone else’s. Even if it doesn’t exactly make sense now, create something with great value so you can cash out big. Always look to the future and never for immediate compensation. What are you going to do with those weekly wages anyways? Stop being so entitled and pretending like you deserve cash, prizes and vacations just yet. You will soon realize once you’ve made it that making money doesn’t make you happy. It’s the journey.




19. Thinking that this is the right time to fall in love

While all of your friends might be doing it, don’t fall into the trap of getting into a relationship. Sure it seems like the right thing to do, but your 20s are entirely too crucial for your personal growth for you to be focusing on fulfilling the wishes of another individual. Not only does it make you complacent with where you are in life, but it makes your boring. When your business is at stake and your future is resting on your shoulders, the last thing you need is to be bogged down by an insecure lover rushing you home. Get out there, meet new people, test the limits and have fun. It will take you to the places you’ve dreamed of going.


18. Trying to act like the man rather than learning how to become one

Instead of going overboard on the Gucci monogram and bottles in the club, as if you just signed to Rocnation, spend the time focusing on your career. Every second counts and if more time is spent pretending to be the person you want to be instead of becoming that man, then you’ll sink in quick sand without even knowing it. A real man is willing to make sacrifices. If you aren’t down to put in the work, then please don’t act like you are. You can enjoy the success when you actually attain it.


17. Making friends instead of earning trust

The in-crowd may be tempting, but you’ll probably fall victim to surrounding yourself with social climbers and bottle whores. We know you feel entitled to celebrate, but please relax. It’s never attractive when you act as though this is the last time you’ll ever see this in life. Make connections with people based on trial and error, not presuppositions and drunk ranting about what they can do for your business. If you ever want people to take you seriously, then you have to take them seriously. Just because you think you trust someone doesn’t always mean you can. Heed any red flags in the past before jumping into any kind of venture with them.


16. Not caring because you only live once — that is for fools

We all are guilty of irrational decision-making in our 20s. Fast people and fast times with money in your pocket always lead to over-extending yourself. A life of partying, heavy drugs and pretty much having that YOLO attitude will leave you flat on your ass. Get focused and lock into what you’re supposed to be doing. If you don’t know what that is, then you better figure it out ASAP.


15. Making all your wants, needs

Expensive women and cheap thrills coupled with the expensive sneakers should not be on the list of your needs. Setting the foundation for your business and team is far more important than updating your wardrobe and chasing sex. Distinguish between what you want and what you actually need. Make sure your priorities are in tact or you will lose your track.


14. Forgetting that family comes first

Those who supported you before anything deserve to be taken care of when you reach your success. If you aren’t doing this for the ones you love, then you’re not doing it right. Family comes first, no matter what happens. If you work for whom you love instead of just yourself, you will get far.


13. Blaming anyone else but yourself for anything in life

Hold yourself accountable for everything. At the end of the day, all you have in the world is yourself — so go hard. Don’t look to anyone for answers and instead of making problems, create solutions. Whether it was that job you wanted, the funding you needed or the love you think you can’t live without, there is no one that can be held accountable in this universe except for you.



12. Getting comfortable like you actually deserve down time

Unless you’re fornicating with Victoria’s Secret models in Monaco this weekend, you shouldn’t even be thinking about taking a break any time soon. You need a vacation? What have you accomplished? Mark Cuban spent 7 years building out his first business before he even took a break. Don’t get lazy now.

11. Sticking with jobs that didn't teach you anything

A bad job is like a bitchy girlfriend that gives bad head. Truthfully, the only reason you’re there is because it is the safest and easiest thing you know. Any job or relationship that allows for you to get comfortable should be avoided at all costs. The last scenario you could ever want is becoming like the rest of those miserable, 40-somethings faced with weekends of minivans and soccer practice.


10. Following the crowd instead of forging against it

You can be aware of the trends, but never follow them. If all your time is spent trying to adjust to your surroundings, you’ll get lost in the crowd all the more easily. Success and greatness are constructed by trendsetters themselves, not those who latched on to what’s currently trending. We hope that you don’t have any aspirations to look like your favorite rapper. Temptation to be influenced by those who you aspire to be like is easy, but no one finds their calling following in the footsteps of another.


9. Failing to energize those around you

Although you may sometimes think there is a lack of talent in your networks — this is never the case. It is your sole responsibility to inspire, encourage and drive those around you to success. Failing to do so only confirms that you fall victim to that which you accuse others of. Change and greatness can be sparked everywhere, but bring it upon yourself to trigger it.


8. Think you need to stop learning and growing

You have more zeros at the end of your bank statement, stamps in your passport and women in your bed than you had ever imagined. Don’t consider this your victory lap, but rather as a taste of greatness. Do you live to enjoy the moments you dreamed of or a lifetime of unimaginable success? The common misconception that once things are in your favor, you no longer have to put in the 3:00AM work hours is a dangerous problem. The fewer nights that you’re willing to put in the work, the fewer opportunities you will have to celebrate your achievements in the future.


7. Thinking that anyone will ever pay you back

Your 20s will be accompanied with a slew of poor investments by yourself and those around you. Whether rich or poor, there will always be someone in your circle that will need a helping hand. If you ever think you’re going to see that money again, you’re sorely mistaken. If there were a plan of action and re-investment, then the truth is that you will not see $1 back. Times are tough, especially in your 20s and finding a route back to financial freedom is often seen only when winning the lotto or signing your first deal with Cash Money Records. Of course miracles do happen, but the probabilities that you’ve essentially given the money away are far too high.


6. Spending your money on women who aren't escorts

Your sex life is an investment — and the smarter the deals you execute, the savvier of an investor you become. Free sex is the most expensive sex in the world. Instead of navigating through an ambiguous investment in which you shower your woman with cash and prizes for the mediocre sex provided, deal with a professional as soon as possible. Although some of you may immediately jump to the negative connotations of a woman who is paid for sex, we suggest you take one step back. As an entrepreneur herself, why would you not want to deal with someone who has the same honesty and integrity that you do. Want a best friend? Buy a puppy. Want great sex? Call an escort.


5. Holding on to friends that waste your time and add no value to your life

You’ll be sucked down into the abyss right with them if you don’t cut the fat of the group. Family and friends could have been great to you as a child, but if they no longer hold the value and inspiration that is needed for you to thrive in life, then cut them loose. The only individuals you should be surrounding yourself with are those that challenge your ideas and motivate you to find the next solution to your problems. No, not the pessimistic assholes who shoot down your ideas with their negativity, but rather the ones who genuinely want to see you succeed no matter what you do in life.


4. Forgetting about the piggy bank and spending every dollar you have

If our check is for $9, than we’re most likely spending $30. Between credit cards, school loans and every other avenue for attaining a quick dollar, our need for immediate gratification is worse than ever. The truth is it’s about making more money, not saving it. But at the same time, if you have no means for expanding your revenue channels then you must be able to save a few dollars here and there. No one like to have to walk to work because they blew every dollar at LAVO.


3. Mistaking safe sex for anything besides anal

If you don’t want to have a child then you better limit your excuses. As vulgar as it may sound, sometimes there are only a few options in life, so you must avoid all potential margins of error. The road to success is not paved with having responsibilities of children and your future wife to be. This is a somewhat lonely journey that you must take by yourself and those you love will be able to celebrate with you after.


2. Dating unstable women with mommy and daddy issues

We need to control the invincibility we all feel when it comes to women. Whether she’s a stripper or a sorority girl, we feel the need to be the knight in shining armor for our women. As chivalrous as this may seem, we hate to break it to you, but you will never be able to change anyone. By setting yourself up for a losing battle, you’ve only ensured your misery for the next few months. She’s clingy for a reason, don’t be her Dr. Phil.


1. Forgetting that karma is a huge bitch

Whether it’s burning bridges with people you loved, stealing your friend’s girlfriend, or plotting against an ex-partner, we must always remember that karma is the biggest b*tch we’ve ever met. There is nothing more true than the fact that whatever goes around comes around, and you are not immune to the cosmic forces that be. We’re not asking you to go on your Mother Teresa pilgrimage, but don’t be surprised when reality catches back up with you and brings you to your knees. Be a good person. You’ll get further in life.


Wednesday 12 June 2013

Hakikat. Harus belajar terima hakikat.


"Henti berhalusinasi. Engkau adalah manusia dan engkau tidak boleh putar masa. Engkau tidak ada gadjet canggih seperti kereta Back to the Future. Perasaan adalah sesuatu yang tidak boleh dipaksa. Bila dia katakan tak nak, maksudnya tak nak. You need to move on buddy. Simpan saki baki maruah kau."

Wednesday 29 May 2013

L.O.V.E




Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship.

It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.

"I love you" means that I accept you for the person you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else.

It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times.

It means loving you even when you're in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do.

It means loving you when you're down, not just when you're fun to be with.

"I love you" means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine.

It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go.

It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me.


Tuesday 21 May 2013

#Selingan3


Satu soalan cepuk cemas dan jarang jarang didengar lagi lagi dari seorang President.

“Dah okay dengan dia?”
Kelu sekejap. “Ya, semua baik baik saja.” Sambil aku lempar senyum sinis.

“Walaupun kita lelaki, kita perlu juga cari seorang yang sayang kita. Bukan butakan mata dan hanya sayang orang yang kita mahu saja. Ketepikan ego. Relakan yang betul betul cinta dan sayang kita. Mungkin itu tempat mereka, dan mungkin juga itu tempat hati kita. Yang sepatutnya.”

Aku masih senyap. Tak membantah. Aku telan semua kata kata President.

“Dia baik, dan lembut. Tapi, soal sayang, cinta bukan boleh dipaksa. Jangan zalimi diri hanya kerana apa yang kita harapkan tak tercapai. Mungkin bukan sekarang, mungkin nanti. Hidup perlu diteruskan. Kita ada tanggungjawap yang lagi besar, nanti. Kena well prepared.”

“Macam mana nak tahu dia betul sayang atau tidak?”

“Pada saya, mudah. Dia sayang, dia datang. Jauh mana pun kita pergi, susah mana pun hubungan itu, tak sehaluan mana pun kita. Tapi, kalau betul betul ada cinta dan sayang, masing masing akan usaha tanpa jemu asal dapat bersatu.”

“Akaun, En Daut dah siap, ada dalam pendrive ni. Dah boleh proceed.”

Bangun dan terus keluar dari bilik.

Lagi dilayan, lagi dalam nanti. Lagi luluh pula hati ini.

Kerja banyak lagi.